Discipline – there are two main definitions. One of which your child is more likely to be familiar with because he or she is the subject of it on a daily basis. Children who misbehave are disciplined by parents, teachers, and other authority figures, by which we mean that they are punished in order to correct their behaviour. Quite understandably, although we adults mean well, your child might not be the biggest fan of discipline. But it’s the second usage that is arguably more important for your child to understand. This is the discipline we refer to when we are talking about self-discipline, the discipline that involves not so much punishment but the ability to manage your behaviour in order to achieve long-term goals. In this article, we discuss the importance of developing and practising self-discipline, and how teaching your child to do so can have a positive impact on both their and your lives.
When starting the conversation with your child on self-discipline, emphasise that it is important in every aspect of life and for people of all ages, including yourself. Explain to your child as well that practising self-discipline on a consistent basis is not going to be easy - in fact children generally find doing so considerably harder than adults as they are much more short-term oriented. Yet, the rewards should they do so are great indeed.
Give some examples of how you exercise self-discipline every day. If the concept of self-discipline proves hard for your young child to grasp, you can try to tell him or her what self-discipline is not. It is not, for example, just a matter of being well-behaved, as any child can be well-behaved when the threat of punishment is hanging over their heads. Instead, a good example of self-discipline where children are concerned could be the ability to study (managing one’s behaviour) for a test (to achieve a long-term goal).
The primary benefit of practising self-discipline for your child is the same as it is for you: he or she is better able to achieve goals and targets, and avoids the negative repercussions of being ill-disciplined, such as being late, not submitting homework, and wasting precious time that could have been put to better use. The difference is that your child has likely not learnt to equate practising self-discipline with making better choices in life yet, while adults will be aware of this even when we slip up in moments of weakness.
Parents have two important functions during this learning process, the first of which is to help children look past the short-term sacrifices as they work towards long-term achievements. The second is to be a big part of the pay-off by praising and rewarding your child for being disciplined, which serves as positive reinforcement.
There are knock-on benefits for you as well. A disciplined, independent child is a child that parents spend less time managing when the child is at home, and worrying about when the child is at school.
While the word does read ‘self-discipline’, it belies how much the environment around us can help each of us be more disciplined. Much research has been done on how one’s willpower comes from a finite pool that is gradually exhausted across the way.
For example, a person who has embarked on a diet would be able to be far more disciplined if there were no bags of potato chips or bars of chocolate lying within easy reach around the house, instead of constantly having to fight off temptation and perhaps giving in eventually. In the same vein, your child will be able to be more disciplined if you set them up for success by providing a routine for him or her, as well as a conducive environment to study that is free from distractions. A routine provides the structure and reinforcement for self-discipline to become a habit, while it is a rare child that can stay the course when snacks, toys and electronic devices are in full view!
We have already talked about helping your child understand the consequences of their actions when they practise self-discipline, as opposed to when they do not. But it is also important to give your child opportunities to try and fail at tasks. Experience is the best teacher, and the bite of disappointment when missing out on a goal owing to a lack of discipline can really spur your child on to work harder and do better in the future.
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If you have any questions about our range of programmes or class schedules, you may contact us at 6733 8711 or drop us an email at enquiry@thelearninglab.com.sg.
Anyone who has ever worked towards a goal and achieved it has had to practise self-discipline. For your child, self-discipline will be a cornerstone of his or her academic journey.
At The Learning Lab, we believe in helping our students grow both as learners in the classroom and as human beings. Our teachers find joy not only in helping your child master tricky concepts, but also in guiding your child’s conduct.
The Learning Lab is now at locations. Find a location that suits your needs.
If you have any questions about our range of programmes or class schedules, you may fill in the form below or contact us at 67338711 / enquiry@thelearninglab.com.sg.